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Finally I was out of the evaluation center, with a learning that I can’t have a taxi or auto because of announced bandh, and the only way was to walk to the metro station a kilometer away. Distance wouldn’t have been an issue if I was wearing a panty. But the fact was I wasn’t wearing one, though it was my decision, yet it wasn’t willingly. I chose to be out of that garment due to the circumstance.
Out there I felt more naked. Or I should say more exposed. I was really out in the open, open from every side. Something like really in public. Evaluation center too was a public place but it had walls and rooms and doors that gave a feel of being in private, even if a bit, but it felt more enclosed sort. In there it was the just the air feeling my naked buttock as if someone touching them, feeling the cheesy skin. Out there the blowing wind felt like someone caressing and patting the curves of my carved buttocks. Something very soft and delicate was playing with my both the cheeks mischievously.
With a shudder I came out of my thoughts. Metro station was the only resort and anyway I had to reach there. But how?
It was windy. The way my curly shoulder length hair, thousands of strands which I had freed from the clutches of the rubber band, were flying high enough to even leave the touch of the neck surely my dress couldn’t succeed resisting the blow on its own.
‘But if I walk holding it, certainly this would draw the attention. It would draw the attention of people towards me and my dress. Especially the lower part as I would be holding it down there, and they might get it that I am not wearing a panty.’ The dilemma was eating me out, when the genius Ovviya of me confronted me. And my conversation with myself started.
‘Are you walking for the first time in this dress?’
‘No. Not at all.’
‘Then why are you so scared?’
‘Because I am not wearing a panty. Simple.’
‘What difference does that make?’
‘It makes hell of a difference. Are you nuts? My bottom is naked, stark naked. I haven’t ever even worn skimpy panties, and now I am without a panty. I hope now you understand what difference it makes.’
‘Oh! Do you mean to say that if you wearing a panty you wouldn’t have mind people seeing your panty?’
‘No way. When did I say anything like this?’
‘You didn’t say, but you are behaving that way.’
‘Be clear about what you want to say.’
‘It doesn’t make any difference if you are in or out of your panty. Even if you were wearing one you would have taken care that your dress doesn’t expose anything above your thighs. Earlier it would have been to prevent a panty peek, and now to avoid a butt peek.’
‘Yeah. Right. But I haven’t ever felt so nervous, I have manged it so calmly that I never even had to think. Whatever I did came automatically, like a natural instinct.’
‘Yeah. Because it seems that your panty that has denuded your bouncy bottoms have put a veil on your head. You are not able to think. You just need to do what you would have done if you were wearing a panty.’
‘Got it. Hold the bottom of my dress from the side, neither front nor back, and walk.’
My conversation with myself ended abruptly. I held the dress and started walking. Still bit conscious I was holding it too tight. As a result, though I have secured it from flying high due to wind, the dress was too tight from behind and the swag of my bulky buttocks became obvious.
Praise to the metro service, I was in and the train moving in next ten minutes. Even the cold temperature with no wind made me at ease. At the first stop a girl walked out of the ladies coup and I got a place to sit as well.
Now that was a mistake. The benches in metro trains are metallic. Rainy season outside and strong air conditioner inside made these metal benches quite cold. I haven’t felt it in the morning as I had two layers of clothing between my hips and the cold steel but now… you know. Were my butts really so sensitive? Were they really feeling that cold or it was my mind playing the over sensitive role? The benches also have tiny holes on it. God knows for what? But I could feel even those punctures so clearly that I could even count them. I could have even counted for some fun, but fun was a farfetched state of mind right then. At that movement I had started feeling uneasy. It was no more the soft and tender touches and pecks; it was a solid thing feeling my bottom with full impact. I was sitting on it. It felt I was sitting butt naked.
With so much of anxiety and nervousness throughout the way the chill ran through my entire body, especially my abdomen. I felt the urgency to hit a loo. This is another issue. Public transports, be it metro or Mumbai’s local trains, do not have washrooms. It was still around an hour for the stop from where I had to change the train. I tightened my lower abdominal muscles trying to sit still, but on occasions I was adjusting myself uncomfortably.
Finally trauma ended with next stop. My first destination was the loo. God Damn it! Why was I so wet? No, I am not talking about the pee, it was the other thing. Yes, there was some arousal even if I didn’t know it. But does it happen that way? You are aroused and you don’t even know? I don’t think so. Maybe I was not acknowledging the arousal. Maybe I was confused with my state of mind, I was confused with my feelings, I was completely misunderstanding it. And it was not right to be that way. My biology is the natural stuff. If I felt something, it surely was natural to feel that way. And I understood it even before leaving the ladies room.
- She is a widow, but she was abandoned before his death.
- He calls her Mom, she had not given him birth.
- She should hate him, for his real mom only, her husband had dumped her.
- But she now lives with the boy.
- She was too lonely before he came. But did she liked her isolation or had she realized the pain of being alone.
I very well knew that I am again to enter the train and it would take around two hours to reach. Now I had a choice to either feel suffocated because of confused emotions or drop all the prejudices and experience what really happens. I chose the latter. It was wise. I boarded the next train without holding my dress by the side. I was now confident of myself with not even a drop of any anxiety, nervousness or fear, neither any excitement of adventure. I was plain and blank to feel and enjoy whatever I felt without any bias or premeditated thoughts.
Once I entered I took my own time to settle. Nothing much had changed outside but from within it was turned table situation. Earlier when I had felt being stuck now I felt more in control. There were emotions playing roller coaster, but it wasn’t creating any anxiety or fear. It was just a different emotion of bit of adventure and more of excitement. Yes, the arousal wasn’t a guilt but of sure. I was feeling aroused and I was pleased that way. And I should have been pleased. What difference does it make whether you feel sexual with in the enclosure of four walls or out there in public?
The feeling always remains private and felt within the body whatever the reason maybe. There was a dawn of confidence in me and along with that there was also the dawn of sun that got me out of my sleep.
When I woke up I was thrilled and horny reliving the incidence when I had been in public without a panty. The soft blades of grass felt comfortably cold. The moist breeze from the pool hitting my unclothed skin on each and every part rejuvenated me. Before going to sleep I had taken a swim, and after waking up I took another dip with four laps in the pool before marching in.
I remained that way for a long time before I started with the schedule of the day where I had to go out and hence dressed.
What happened next will again be shared very soon. To be update do not forget to SUBSCRIBE.
Till then, be alive.
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